I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again.

Today I feel as if I need a bit of a pick me up.  I've written lately of an increased stress level, and I think that it has gotten to a breaking point - if that's possible.  However, I have seen signs that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining to the cloud, etc.  To help get me through challenges in my life, I like to listen to music.  Style and band depend on the challenge I'm going through, but lately if I need to remind myself in times of stress how blessed I am - I like to listen to two.  Check them out, you may heard them before, maybe not.  Listen all the way through and while you are listening - think about the great things about your life and how the things that are stressing you, are not the important things in life - the blessings are.

Miss you Shel.

Bedroom Battle Royale

Over the past two weeks, I seem to be having more vivid dreams than I have before.  I'm not sure why they my brain has decided to kick into overdrive lately but it has an adverse effect in the bedroom.  The dreams are so livid that I wake myself up, which in itself isn't that big of a deal.  The real issue is that I have begun moving involuntarily in bed because of the dreams.  Last week I kicked my wife (I was playing soccer in the dream) and last night, I accidentally smacked her in the head. In my dream I was in an argument and the man I was arguing with took a swing at me...I went to block (in the dream) and caught my wife in the head.

Thinking back the only other time anything like this has happened was when we first moved into our house, I was stressed about my job and one night, in the middle of the night in a dream state, I ripped open a pillow (in the dream I had to find a key for a file cabinet at work, in the pillow).  My wife also says that I talk in my sleep during times of stress.

I don't feel stressed, but add up my sleep ju-jitsu, acne breakouts and headaches - and apparently something is causing me some issues.  Hopefully it will all end on Labor Day - when my job ends its full season, and moves to weekends only.

So - another thing to research and look into - stress relief, and maybe even boxing gloves!

This is me...breaking the cycle.

Every time in my life that I have had a great idea that required a commitment, I've started strong, at times kept to a schedule, routine or diet for a few weeks, but then, I miss a day, I fall of the wagon, I have one bad night of eating and the wheels come off.  In a previous post I mentioned my last stint with the South Beach Diet.  I stuck to the diet for 4 weeks, only to have one day off for the Super Bowl, and I've been celebrating the Super Bowl ever since.  Off the top of my head I can recall at least 15 different programs, diets, ideas that I've had that lasted a week or two on, then fffft out like a candle.

This is me...breaking that cycle (hopefully).  I started this blog a week ago with the intention of writing nightly of my "quest of self improvement".  Last night after a long day and night of events, I got home and crashed, not writing a post.  Were there ways that I could have avoided missing a post?  Sure - I couild have posted in the morning, written while I enjoyed my morning coffee.  But alas, I didn't think about that.  Instead, I missed a post.  It would have been easy for me to write off the project, to cut my losses and move onto the next idea.  But that's not what this blog is abouit.  It's about the improvement of myself, the change of my unproductive habits. Hopefully this keeps my inner sloth at bay and keeps the process in motion.  Only time, and a blog post tomorrow night, will tell.

Mystery Meat Strikes Again

I feel so horrible right now for so many different reasons.

I'm A foodie type of guy. I've loved food in all it's forms for the majority of my life. From Grandma's pot roast to Weinerschnitzel in Berlin, I've tried everything put in front of me. I treasure the rare and aristocratic tastes and I revel in the ooze and slop of things like Garbage Plates(Double Cheeseburger please, extra Frank's Red Hot on the side). But rarely do I truly regret a meal.

Sometimes if I work late and I get home after the wife and kids have eaten, I like to pretend I am a contestant on Iron Chef. But rather than have to cook several dishes based on a single ingredient, I have to make a single meal out of the random crap I find in my cupboards

Enter the basement freezer. In the name of trying to clean out the Hoth-like realm within our chest freezer, I've been pulling random items out to cook with. Today - Freezer Queen Salisbury steak dinner. I figure, how bad could it be. Cook it up, throw it on an onion roll dipped in the gravy like a French dip, throw on some sharp cheddar cheese and (with apologies to Emeril Lagasse) BAM - dinner.

As soon as the greasy, salt infested (yes, infested - the only way to properly describe it) gravy hit my tongue, I knew i was in trouble. The gravy was horrid, the cheese just added to the salt overload and the meat...the meat (if you can call it that). The ingredient label read beef, pork, soy etc but it didn't mention that it was the slaughterhouse floor sweepings from the end of a shift.

I choked it down, barely. But I vowed that in this year of improvement, there are no spots on the team for meals like that. If I am going to eat fatty, sodium laden food, at least it should taste good, or be accompanied by a toy inside a happy meal!

What meals or snacks have you regretted? Deep fried twinkies? Maple bacon doughnuts? I'd love to hear, and may e even try them!

Bon apetit!

Social Change for your life - one email at a time.

Obviously I am person that is attracted to social media.  I'm a gamer at heart.  Give me a way to score points by doing things.  Show me how I can conquer other people that I have not, nor will ever meet.  Let me pour my heart and soul out to the digital void in 140 character messages.  In all cases, I'm in.

Enter meyouhealth.com.  A semi social site that is uses FB connect and emails you a simple daily challenge that you can do to help improve your overall quality of life.  You can choose to take the challenge or pass on it, and if you take the challenge and successfully complete it, you earn points and eventually move up in the hierarchy of the program.  You can also post on the challenge page as to how you completed the challenge or issues you had while trying to complete it.

These challenges are very small and usually easy to complete.  Sample challenges are "Eat a food with blueberries or blackberries in it today", "Do a full spine stretch today", "Resist the urge to check the news online today".  The email then tells you ways that you might complete the challenge or strategies to employ, as well as why completing the challenge will make a positive impact on your well being.

I'm a big fan of the set up so far, but as you have to gain points to earn "tokens" to open the new tracks (Healthy Eating, Strong Family, etc) I'm wondering how long I will be able keep to the program.  As well, I'm interested to see what the CRM elements of the system have in store for me if I don't open two or three emails.  Will I get a "what the heck" email?  Because it is connected to my FB account - would it post "guess who's a fat-ass" posts on my profile?  THAT would be interesting.

I'm in for now, as much for the social media aspect of it as for the life improving tendencies. 

Do you have any social programs, apps, email systems, etc that you use to help you improve your life?  Productivity program, budgeting software/app, health improvement app?  I'm interested in checking out as many as possible to blog about and use personally.

Quickly on another note - walked about 2 miles today - first actual exercise in a while - body revolted a bit, but mind over body will prevail.

Let's Do The Mind Wrap Agaaaain

Before you warm up your typing fingers, I meant what I said and I said what I meant.  I've been trying to wrap my mind a little farther around the goals that I have set for myself for the next year and try to find a metric associated to those goals that might gauge improvement.  As some of the goals are abstract - I'm not sure how I can quantify them. 

I have come up with a few baseline numbers for each goal, in hopes that I might use them to measure progress.  Below are the goals, along with some baseline numbers.

1.  Become healthier
     Current Weight: 254
     Current BP: 125/90
     Current shape: Out of, can do 12 push ups, 10 sit ups and 1 1/2 pull ups.  Can't
     say how fast I can run a mile, I'd have to run one first.

2.  Be a better Daddy
     Time spent per day with kids, avg: Approximately 3.5.
     Times that I have participated in an activity alone with one of my two
     children in their lives (4 years): Approximately 20

3.  Spend less time in front of a screen
     Avg time per day spent in front of a TV, Computer, smartphone, etc, avg: 7.5

4. Consume less, Save more
    Total Household Debt to Annual Income Ratio: 1.5 to 1

5.  Keep work at work and home at home 
     Avg wk week (in hours, on location including commute): 66
     Avg hours spent on  work off location, per week: 14

Not sure how I'm going to use these numbers yet to develop strategy - but I do know that I want to reduce most of them, and increase the time spent with my kids.

I've found some online tools that I'd like to explore as well.  If they turn out to be anything interesting - I will certainly share.

As far as the small changes today, I spent the entire day with the kids including a trip to the playground, lunch out with Mommy at a restaurant by her job and one on one time playing games.  I also had a salad for lunch, but that wasn't as fun as playing with the kids!  I also paid off all of our debt....that isn't a car loan, mortgage, school loan or credit card.  Which hopefully means I can start putting more money down on those debts. 

And to celebrate - since I've been singing it in my head the entire time I have been writing...let's do the Time Warp again!

Gradual vs. Drastic Change - which will be more effective?

I've been trying to work out what the most effective ways to achieve the improvements that I have laid out for myself.  I realize that all decisions that I make in my life should revolve around the five goals, but my question is what would be more effective, gradual or drastic change? 

No fewer than 4 times I have gone on the South Beach Diet, Dr. Agotston's carb reduced, low fat diet program that involves a two week induction period of no carbs, low fat; a longer weight loss phase with limited complex carbs and low fat, then a maintenance stage where you ride the line, going back and forth amongst the first two phases as needed.  Through the attempts, I've lost 36, 23, 26 and 22 pounds, but gained them back each time.  The diet worked for me initially each time because it was very drastic and limiting.  Each time however I jumped off the wagon into a pile of Nachos, a tub of ice cream or a keg of beer.

The last attempt began in January of this year, when I dropped 22 lbs by the Super Bowl, "paused" the diet to celebrate my beloved Green Bay Packers victory....and well, I've been celebrating ever since.  


I have never tried to change my diet one meal at a time and I'm wondering if it will be effective.  I have had similar experiences with the other improvements that I have outlined for myself.  Every time I have tried to change, I've tried a drastic measure (cutting out TV completely, going on an austerity budget, etc).  Will it work if I make subtle changes daily?

I started the path today - opting for Pesto Pasta with Olive Oil and Garlic rather than Lasagna or Spaghetti Parm, loading up on vegetables for lunch, teaching the kids to play soccer with the back yard while the phone sat on the kitchen table.  I guess only time will tell.

Tomorrow's post will hold baseline readings of a sort, that I can gauge improvement in.  These are rather abstract goals, so I might have to get creative.  I'm open to suggestions how I might quantify the progress of these improvements.  The goals again are:

1.  Become healthier
2.  Be a better Daddy
3.  Spend less time in front of a screen
4. Consume less, Save more
5.  Keep work at work and home at home

To close out the post - a little inspirational music from Pantera - great music to exercise to!

The Next Leg of the Journey

The other day I heard a term that I had previously been unfamiliar with.  The "Endowment Effect".  The crux of the effect is that given the choice, people would choose the things that life had given them, rather than think they could have done better if they had lived life differently. 

Given a choice, would I change anything about my past?  Honestly, no.  All the choices I have made, though they may have caused hardship and pain in the short term, have made me what I am.  If I would have done anything different - my life could be different.  I love my wife, my family, my work.  If I had made different decisions, some of that may not have come into existence - so I choose to believe that I have made the right decisions in my life, or that even if I have made bad decisions, they have made me a better person.

However, just because the past has brought me where I am - doesn't mean I can't improve where I am in the future.  Therefore - I've decided to walk a path of self improvement for the next year, my 36th year.  I hope that by making small changes every day, at the end of the year I will have made one large improvement. 

I have no specific goals, but I do have a general idea of areas that I can make improvements.  In order to give myself a starting point - I've identified 5 things I'd like to make an improvement on and will try to track on a regular basis:

1.  Become healthier (i.e. Lose Weight, Exercise more, etc).
2.  Be a better Daddy (spend more quality time with the kids, be a better example)
3.  Spend less time in front of a screen (TV, Computer, phone, etc)
4. Consume less, Save more (I, like many, have fallen into the credit trap - need to get OUT!)
5.  Keep work at work and home at home (sounds like a given, but believe me - it's not)

In addition to these, I would also like to train myself to be an effective blogger - SO - I plan on blogging daily for the next 365 days to hone the craft.  I can't promise it will be pretty - few are, but it may have some shining moments.  And my hope is to take those shining moments  and develop them into effective, engaging writing...eventually.

Come along on the journey if you will - I could use the companionship!